Last Pirate Rant

Ok, final post on the pirates, and then I’m done. The obsession is unhealthy and unproductive, and I’m pretty sure I’m developing an internet addiction, with a nice dollop of RSI on the side. As my last pre-cold-turkey outpouring, I just need to get this off my chest. Here’s the list of common arguments I hear in defense of piracy. Allow me to explain why they’re wrong.

Dude, Apple totally suXorz! They’re a bunch of Nazis and I don’t want to give them any more money! Rage against the corporate machine! Yeah!

Well. First, let’s make the assumption that you actually bought your iPhone and didn’t beat up an old lady on the street to steal one. In which case, I hate to break it to you, but you already gave Apple a whole bunch of money. If you’re now trying to get back at them by NOT paying for my $4 app, guess who gets more hurt here, me or Apple? Seriously, word of advice – if you don’t want to give money to Apple, don’t buy their phone. Problem solved.


Dude, everyone overcharges for apps. I mean, come on, $4 for software? WTF! I’m trying to teach the greedy bastards a lesson.

Short answer: if you can’t afford $4 for a game, you can’t afford an iPhone. Return it and learn to manage your money.

I don’t want to pay for something before trying it. Once I try it for free, I’ll buy it if I like it. (Right…)

Ok, kind of see the appeal of this argument. You don’t want to spend money unless you know what you’re getting. However, this argument does not hold much water. We’re talking about a couple of bucks here. Do you take a bite of a muffin before buying it? Do you see a movie before paying for a movie ticket? Do you try a cup of coffee before buying one? Yeah, didn’t think so. And unlike the items listed above, you can use an application for an unlimited amount of time. Asking to pay to try is not unreasonable here.


But… software isn’t a muffin! A muffin has concrete costs per item, whereas software you make just once and can sell an unlimited number of times, never having to work again!

Not exactly true. There is an oft-rehashed summary of some concrete software costs which scale with the number of users (hosting fees, bandwidth cost, support time, etc.). But there’s also the fact that you can spend months writing something with absolutely no return. That’s a huge investment. If your product hits it really big, then yes, you’ll figure out how to make money, pirates or no. If your product is completely unpopular, then, well, tough luck. You played the lottery and lost. Again, pirates don’t really come into the picture here.

However, if you’re somewhere in the middle of that range and not quite making enough to make a living, losing customers to piracy can make that crucial difference. That’s the crucial amount that can discourage indie developers and new ideas. If people can’t make a decent living off decently popular apps, soon enough the only people making these applications will be large companies that can make the huge investment. Perhaps some people would prefer it that way. However, for people who claim to hate the large corporations, this is probably not the result they were expecting. If you want new, original ideas from indie developers, you need to pay them for their efforts.

Ok, glad I got all that off my chest. These are all things I would never say to a pirate directly, of course, because I know there’s no point. In the end, people just like free stuff. And there’s really no reasoning with someone who can defend their right to steal my work directly to my face. Enjoy, dude. You need it more than I do.