And here is the promised list of Don’ts in Dealing with Pirates. Let’s hope someone else learns from my obsession. Pirates are elusive and skittish creatures who should not be approached lightly.
1. Don’t accuse the pirates. They attack when cornered. It is not a good idea to go on a torrent site (which is distributing the fruits of your labor, for free) and suggest that they send YOU a donation for using your software, rather than to the guy who took 2 minutes to crack it. You WILL be inundated with vile unprintable commentary that will question your right to be on the site, the size of your reproductive organs, your sexual orientation, and potentially your mother’s weight. All of this will inevitably be misspelled and will hurt you more than it hurts them.
2. Don’t send a Cease and Desist letter to a site that makes its money distributing stolen software. Sure, they’ll pull the offending item for a day. But the pirates will come back, and in greater numbers. This is a fleeting victory.
3. Don’t Google your product name every hour. Yes, it’s getting pirated. Yes, there are more pirate sites up every time you look, in every conceivable language. Yes, you are becoming completely obsessed and Google in your dreams. Seriously. Just. Stop.
4. … hold on, Googling…
5. Don’t become emotionally involved in other highly publicized IP cases. Calm down. Tetris is doing ok, whether or not I flame a forum full of teenage boys who feel like they have a God-given right to free video games. For your sanity, just stay out of it.
6. Finally, and most importantly, do NOT give away any identifying details when approaching the pirates. They will retaliate.
Tomorrow, the much shorter list of dos.
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