Oh Captain, My Captain

Check out this article on the cesspool of crazy that is the Hillary Clinton campaign. I don’t want to say I told you so (mom), but, really, I told you so. Now, I don’t want to fall into the trap of voting for a president I would want to have a beer with. Realistically, I will never have a beer with the president (I don’t like beer). My subconscious president test is – would I want to work for them? What kind of boss would they make? Here is my completely uninformed and subjective analysis. The candidates better pay attention, because the uninformed and subjective masses are going to be deciding the election. Here’s hoping the primaries will be over by then.

From his demeanor alone, I would have guessed ol' GDub is the incompetent boss that needs to be managed. For example:

GWB: Uh, we need to take care of the situation in, uh, whaddayacallit…

Lux: Iraq, sir?

GWB: Yeah, right, Iraq. We’re need to do that surge thing.

Lux: Actually, sir, we decided to pull out.

GWB: Oh yeah? Ok. Great. Great job. Uh, hey, wanna get a beer?

Ah, a girl can dream. Alas, we all know Bushie did not turn out to be the incompetent doofus who lets smarter people do his job. No, he’s the incompetent doofus who lets evil people do his job and is always right because Jeebus tells him so. Fortunately, we have burned that bridge already. Let’s move on and see what the future might hold for us.

The Maverick. This is just not a good nickname. Would your want to work for Tom “I’m Crazy” Cruise in Top Gun? This is the man who will walk into your office at the end of the day wanting to talk policy. You will present well researched ideas and he will listen intelligently, nodding and staring at the floor. He will ask intelligent questions. You will talk for hours. At the end, he’ll thank you for your thoughts and advice and pat you on the back with a smirk. The next day, you’ll read in the paper that he did the exact opposite what you advised. Oh, and that you’re fired.

Oh Hillary. I want to like her, I really do. And yet I see her as the woman who, as the boss 3 times removed from you, storms indignantly into your office with three flustered lackeys rushing behind her, demands that you take out your latest report, and berates you for using the wrong font. In the meantime, the company goes bankrupt.

He listens to you, respects you, and brings you donuts. In return, you have to be ready to do the dirty work, because he stays above it. He’ll make you feel like there’s a bigger purpose to the mind-numbing work you have to do. Every once in a while, a halo of white light will seem to shimmer around him as he speaks.

I swear I’m not an Obamabot. I don’t love any candidate unconditionally. I don’t even love myself unconditionally. But be honest - who would you want to work for?