Density

It’s been a crappy day. And I’ve been Facebook-stalking. Nothing makes you feel crappier after a crappy day than looking at pictures of people your age pretending to have a fulfilling life. Sometimes you find people, after so many years, and everything just makes sense. The always smiling dreamy-eyed girl who’s now at the Divinity School. The drama queen who became an actress. The serious independent girl in horn-rimmed glasses who became a lesbian. It’s like they went through life on this unfaltering course and became exactly what they were supposed to be. Destiny. And if it sounds like I’m whining, maybe it’s because I was destined to be a whiner since birth. I'm Russian, I'm Jewish, I'm a woman, and all the cards are stacked against me. Time to embrace my destiny.

The Month that Disappeared

So everything was going along swimmingly. I was productively writing every month, diligently calculating whether I’d be able to squeeze in 10 or 15 blog entries in November, mentally drafting my witty retorts to Salman Rushdie at fashionable New York parties, when BAM! It’s December 21, and my blog isn’t even in my browser cache anymore.

The whole month has been a haze. All I remember is going to the mall a lot. At any given moment, Jingle Bells was probably stuck in my head. After all that, I still don’t have presents for my family. Oh, and I got a year older. Welcome to the LATE twenties. Tick tock. According to the unwritten schedule I made when I was twelve, I should have been attending those glitzy New York parties five years ago. But those five years somehow flew by, too.

Time’s a bitch. We’re in a such a fight right now.