Friday, December 28, 2007

Density

It’s been a crappy day. And I’ve been Facebook-stalking. Nothing makes you feel crappier after a crappy day than looking at pictures of people your age pretending to have a fulfilling life. Sometimes you find people, after so many years, and everything just makes sense. The always smiling dreamy-eyed girl who’s now at the Divinity School. The drama queen who became an actress. The serious independent girl in horn-rimmed glasses who became a lesbian. It’s like they went through life on this unfaltering course and became exactly what they were supposed to be. Destiny. And if it sounds like I’m whining, maybe it’s because I was destined to be a whiner since birth. I'm Russian, I'm Jewish, I'm a woman, and all the cards are stacked against me. Time to embrace my destiny.

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1 comment:

J&D said...

I know exactly what you mean! Whenever I'm not busy trying to distract myself from thinking too hard, I always go back to the question of, "What is my driving passion in life? How should I move forward in my career?"

My sister was drawing pictures on walls, floors, anywhere she could reach, since she was 2 years old. She then went through a confusing period of pursuing law for a while, but she got back to her true love, and she's a successful 3D artist.

Me? I'm still wondering.
What I do best really is being a family-girl. I'm good at taking care of people, pampering them, lavishing affection... How does that translate into a career? Not sure...

I sometimes have panic attacks, thinking, OMG, where is my life going? What the hell am I doing with it?

Then I go bake a cake, feed my honey and myself, and gain some density. And I feel just a bit more calm.

December 28, 2007 at 3:14 PM

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