Although I aspire to look deep into the vortex of reality and capture the shining nugget of truth in a well-turned phrase on a daily basis, all my brain capacity is currently occupied with weddings, the white lacy fluffy taffeta living nightmares of the modern world. I was just dragged to this, and it is just as soul sucking as you would expect. A bizarre carnival of overpriced vendors swarmed towards me like hungry zombies as a third-rate band played Nelly covers and hesitant aspiring models in wedding gowns toddled down the runway in clear plastic shoes.

I need to sleep it off, but weddings have been haunting me even in my dreams. 4 weeks until I get my life back.